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14 Days of Valentine

I still don't know if this comic is my magnum opus or just bad.

Here's some Bonus Cards


This comic is actually 14 Valentine's Day cards. They all have empty "to" and "from" fields unless otherwise noted.

Pictured: An apple with a realistic human face. He's smiling warmly at us.

Caption: Lookin' Fine, Valentine!

Pictured: A balding man at a chalkboard with a piece of chalk.

Caption: (in big, hand-written font on the chalkboard) Will you be my Valentine? (In smaller text, written in perfect Times New Roman) If not, you are required to write a five-page paper in MLA format explaining why I am not a suitable Valentine Candidate. You must cite at least three credible sources for full credit

Pictured: A terribly compressed jpeg of santa and his elf with a blue heart added there too.

Caption: Merry Valentine's Day! (christmas is poorly crossed out with black)

Pictured: An anthromorphic cat pirate is on a ship looking at us. He has an eyepatch and a fresh bandage on his arm. He's holding a piece of paper.

Caption: Yo-ho, captain! I made ye a Valentine!

Pictured: The paper the cat had was a piece of a Valentine's card, now being held in the viewer's hand. It was a drawing of the cat and the captain, but it was ripped apart, and a message is written in a red fluid.

Caption: Kill me it ins (the message trails off the paper). From: Me. To: Captain.

Pictured: The captain has lowered the note. The cat looks at him, smiling. The bandage on his arm is bleeding.

Caption: Yar har har! 'Twas all but an epic prank, Captain! No need to look so shook!

Pictured: The apple from before, but slightly different. He has no eyebrows, and looks less charming and more creepy

Caption: Ahoy, Valentine! (I don't actually sail, I'm just having a bit of fun!) You are looking quite fine today!

Pictured: A robot with a laptop for a head and a buff, extremely reflective body is posing seductively on a neon backdrop.

Caption: My sense of self may be an illusion, but my love for you is also an illusion!

Pictured: A woman with a shaved head is lying on a table, eyes open. One of the eyes has been pulled out by a surgeon, who is sticthing her lower eyelid. Here pupils are in the shape of crosses.

Caption: You were made to be my valentine.

Pictured: A Windows 10 blue screen of death, but in front of it are three characters. One is a disembodied torso of an androgynous person. Their chest is opened, revealing a ribcage and musckes. Their blood is a dark purple or black. To either side are little chibi characters. One is staring smugly with a scapel, and the other is frowning, with arms crossed, apparently upset with the other.

Caption: (the text of the blue screen is partly blocked) The program "waifu.exe" ha... error and needs t... We are sorry for the inco...

Pictured: The entire frame is muscle fibers connected erratically. Bundles of muscle go in parallel lines. In the center is a pair of yellow eyes. Black, oily fluid is coming out of their eyes.

Caption: D0 9D D0 B5 20 D1 83 D0 BC D0 B5 D1 8E 20 D0 BB D1 8E D0 B1 D0 B8 D1 82 D1 8C 2E 20 20 D0 9F D1 80 D0 BE D1 81 D1 82 D0 B8 2E

Pictured: The apple is back. He's right up in front of us. Something is wrong with the lights. He's a deep red.

Caption: what a fine valentine you are... so very.... very... fine

Pictured: The card is black. The to and from lines, in white, extend to the edge of the card. There are several white lines underneath them, converging near the bottom.

(No caption)

Pictured: A pixel lady is posing topless. Her boobs are censored with video game coins. A small triforce is behind her. A pixel heart is in front of her.

Caption: I'd grind all day, if it was on you ;)

Watermark: More EPIC GAMER CONTENT @ http://epic-gamer-content.xyz

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